无处可逃
他们谣传着纽约时报
天热的发慌

我其实有些残忍
甚至冷酷
对自己
对他人
骄阳如盘

明明白白
地看着
无能无力
四处流浪
命运如涅磐

我不知这离奇的力量
从何而来
任性而坚韧地
犯着错误

天真着
犹如16年前的
天真
甚至幼稚
时间如此不堪

走出一步
如此艰难
命运也就成了
涅磐

放弃爱情
下一个是谁？

The more I knew of Bruce Lee, the more I cherished him. More than a great character in movis, from Bruce 's story, I can make a kind of sense that how we undergo a scietific and practical cultural transformation and then have an enjoyable life here abroad, rather than the old-fashion, hard working and limited life style. Until now, he is one of the most well-known Chinese men in this country. He set up a lot of No 1in Chinese-American history. If you would to know the detailed story, you could watch "The Legend of Bruce Lee", a Chinese TV series which is filmed by CCTV.

In my view to his story, Bruce Lee had a remarkably spiritual mind. There are two points related to his success. The first one is his learning and understanding of Philosophy. That helped him a lot and made him a different person, specifically a western-transformaed Chinese person. Due to his sense of phiosophy, Bruce Lee got insight to make tremdous efforts to combine his practical Gongfu to spirit so that he create his own GongFu that is mixed with western and eastern varied Gongfus. This dynamics enforced him the amzingly quick response to any kind of attach.  

The second one is his big love and integrety. This made him keep going, going out of himself to the bigger world. That gave him the encouragement and inspiration to burst up through the limitation of conditions such as disctimination and racism etc.. Then he stood up beyond his sphere and succeeded. 

Wang, one of my fellow hometown, called this afternoon, wanting to say thanks to me for my forwarded message about the Xiang-Dang meeting together on May. Then we talked telephone for a while. He gave me a great compliment to my blogs and some of thoughts that are indicated in my blog.

I do not know how he knows my blog where I wrote somehow professional one. I was feeling a little bit wierd and so embarrassying. I just would like to be plain friends. It is uncomfortable to be some sort of different person.
 
It is so unnatural to express myself and you have to pay more attention to your polite attitude. Even you have to keep silent most of times to let them speak. In fact, how I like to speak out what I am thinking. Anyway, it is not funny at all. 

Moreover, I am wondering who I am. The one who is intelligent, senstive, sharp woman as exposed in my blog or the one, who is plain, funny, active woman in life, no one want to pay attention to.
 I prefer to the last one. I just want to be myself, totally free.

So, who am I?    

To practice my English, I am starting to write everyday life in English. It is not very easy, but a good trial.

It is time to go. As before, everyday big hug came. Her eyes turned red and tears starts to come up. My heart felt like being scratched too. She opened the door and hold the door there. I steped out the door, walking in the hall,  with my head and eyes seeing back to the door, one step forward and one head back. I had hoped that I am the last one to see the last moment. I thought she thinks that way too.

Car music was haunted around and the weather outside was grey. My tears did not drop in the end but into deepened mind. I am so upset that she finally lost her independece she always fights for. This Friday, she will be moved by her daughters to a new appartment where she will spend her rest life. She might have a good time there. She is so soft that she might be flexible engought to adjust a new life. Her memory start to be working like broken chain of pearls. It might be not bad for her to forget her dead lover and her then-sweet marriage life.

I will visit her in her new place. I love this soft, sensitive, intelligent old lady. I will remember those sweet time we had together. 

Be good and be tought, my little girl.  

   



    

有人说
你有了喜欢的人
因为思想
似乎你们所有的人
在夸奖
那个已经离开你们的人

只是还是会选择
不再相见
也不再继续相爱
没有其他
只是
飘移和胆怯

苦难艰难
哪里都有
阳光每天都是新的
飘移胆怯
总也是遗憾

不要想起
那曾经的默契和凝视